Cookie Monster with Prostitute

Holy Ice Cream Crusade

It’s been a pretty busy summer, and since the TOAE I’ve been artistically brain-dead. To change it up a bit I thought I’d try drawing something new, VEHICLES! Ok fine, so Jesus and Cookie Monster still managed to sneak into the work, but it’s a start. Next I’m going to try my hand at landscapes… with Godzilla in the background!

NEW EXHIBITION!: Art Brownie Rainbow
OPENING RECEPTION: Saturday, July 28, 2012 – 3-8 pm

The show consists of little paintings by over 100 artists done on 2.5″ square blocks of wood. Sound like fun? You don’t know the half of it… I’ve reached new levels of profound childishness with these babies. Yep, growing up is overrated.

Tomorrow is Sunday, and to celebrate, here are a couple of paintings. Nothing to be depressed about this sunday though… The Outdoor Art Show is treating me rather well. It even gave me an award!:

To celebrate this award I’m going to pass out from exhaustion and exposure. Holy fuck who would of ever thought being an artist required so much stamina. I really will need espresso from Hell tomorrow morning to get me out of bed in time.

There are times in life when something great comes around. Something that changes everything for the better. Something that reminds us how beautiful life is, and how the universe is a place full of wonder and inspiration… something like… a poster with 20 translations of the word fart! Woo! Really, could it get any better?!

Because this is such a momentous occasion, I’m printing 50 of these suckers. Come and buy them at the Outdoor Art Show this weekend!

The outdoor art show is coming up, and so I’m a very happy little piggie. This is the one time of year when all my well earned cynical perspectives of life actually pay off. Cha-ching! Yep, I’m a sell out, but that’s ok with me.

All those long nights, nothing but donuts for dinner and tea for company, have left me with slews of bitterific new stuff. I don’t have space for all this crap in my shitty little apartment, so on July 6th, 7th & 8th, please come to Nathan Phillips Square and buy it all from me.

You may have also noticed that as part of my world domination strategy, I started a Facebook page. Yep, imagine that. Facebook. Me. What the hell is the world coming to. I don’t even know what to do with a facebook account. To pay me back for all the suffering setting up that page caused me, you should go there and ‘like me’.

Like me, how lame.

The Fraggle Hunter

Fraggles in the Opium Den

I’ve tried to dance my cares away, drink my cares away, sleep my cares away, fornicate my cares away, and obviously even paint my cares away. Nope… they’re still there. So fraggles, you can all go to hell.

Bong bong bong bong bong bong

Ohhh! Crackwhore!

The problem with a theme like the Yip Yips is that EVERYONE loves them and is going to get all excited and say to me “Oh oh oh! You should totally paint a picture of them with ________ “. Please don’t do that.

Beer Buddies

Friday Night Sermon

Boba, Bert & Ernie

Zombies on Coffee Break

Zombies Together Forever

People are loving zombies these days, something I plan to exploit this year to the max. Actually, I wrote a ‘zombie themed‘ blog entry for my clinic blog that sort of ties in here. Hey, I’m not against a little shameless cross promotion if you aren’t.

Boba Fett Discovers Smurf Village

Rainbow Bright, Completely Annihilated on Tequila, Discovers Smurf Village

I’ve got so many backlogged paintings to post, you’ll have to forgive my lack of supportive wit-saturated writing over the next while. Yeah I know, everyone comes here for the articles, but you’ll just have to make due looking at the pictures for awhile. Poor you.

… well kind of, but I did it for you, really. You see, last year at the outdoor art show people kept giving me shit for not doing prints. The reason I haven’t done prints in the past is because it felt cheap and I didn’t want to lessen the value of the originals. However I’ve sold my soul and decided to dabble in special-edition prints! I won’t be making prints of work I’ve already sold so don’t bother asking.

Here’s how this will work, I’ll be making limited edition print runs of some new pieces. They’ll be printed archival style with pigment inks on acid free paper, individually stamped, numbered and signed and blah blah blah all that crap people want to hear.

As for originals, I have another surprise for you… all my recent work is painted on ELEPHANT POO PAPER! No kidding, paper made of shit. Wow, life just couldn’t get any better.

Hopefully I’ll be accepted into the outdoor art show again this summer and then everybody can rejoice in my selling-out-ness and the real pretentious art douchbag collectors out there can fight it out over the ‘shit paper’ originals. A-fucking-men to that.

Ninjas at all day breakfast

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a ninja. These days there doesn’t seem to be a lot of work for ninjas though, so I guess it’s just as well I became an astronaut instead.

Zombies Discussing the Meaning of Life (sold)

It’s 7:30 am on monday morning… I just made my morning cappuccino (purely on reflex). Let me give you a glimpse into my life. 3 months ago, on a random grey morning like today, I mindlessly sat at my computer and ended up stumbling across this lovely little thought:

“In philosophy, reality is the state of things as they actually exist, rather than as they may appear or might be imagined.In a wider definition, reality includes everything that is and has been, whether or not it is observable or comprehensible. A still more broad definition includes everything that has existed, exists, or will exist, not just in the mind, or even more broadly also including what is only in the mind.”

You see!? This is why I don’t post very often… because I read things like this and then put myself into a 3 month muse induced philosophy-coma. Then when I finally snap out of it, the profound summation of my mind-numbing ponderings is:

“Hmm… what would the definition of ‘life’ be to a zombie?”

It’s hard being me.

Eggs Benedict Thrice Served

Kermit On Acid (sold)

Anyone who bothers to follow this blog should know by now that I’m bad at being an artist. In fact I’m such a punk that sometimes, just to fight against all convention, labels and expectations, I’ll NOT be an artist! How’s that for an artistic statement. That’s right. I’m deep. Ok whatever Jesse, above are a couple pieces submitted to the Square Foot Show. Yes, I decided to temporarily be an artist again. Don’t bug me.